Portrait of a Shamanic Trantrika
When Anna Maria walks in the room it’s like someone just whispered you a secret.
She wears a smile that flits around her face and her eyes and it dances on her lips as if to say “I know something extraordinary. And I’ll share it if you have ears to listen and a heart that’s open”.
So I took some time to sit down with Anna Maria. To ask her some questions and then listen – as many others have – to what she has to share.
After all, it’s not often I get to have a cup of tea with a Shamanic Tantrika, and I was curious to hear her story.
Chatting and laughing in a Swedish lilt flavored with accents from all over the world, Anna Maria divides her time between Ubud and her rain-forest land in the North of Bali, South America and Europe.
We talked about her passions, her journey and I asked her what brings her to Bali?
Anna Maria: At the root of it all is “how do I live my passion?” How do I choose life? How can I live life to its absolute fullest?
In that search which I’ve been having my whole life, I’ve found my different paths which I’m merging in to one passion. It’s within the shamanic tantric path. In the merging of the tantric and shamanic path I choose what works and now I live to share that. That’s what I’m passionate about and that’s what brought me to Bali.
BaliSpirit Festival: How did you find your passion and get to this point? Was there a struggle involved or was it easy?
Anna Maria: I went through hell and back so many times. I chose to go to the core and the root of what was blocking me and die so many times. Any blocks to living what was possible and daring to live that I had to remove.
Anna Maria grew up in a “super normal”, high-class family in Sweden. There was no talk of spirituality, it was very stable, but for Anna Maria, extremely chaotic. “When I was 9 I said I wanted to start getting therapy”.
After a year she started dragging her whole family to therapy! Anna Maria was very lost and felt she didn’t belong when she was young. She didn’t speak as a child, but had an inner feeling which she needed to understand and process. Her psychotherapists didn’t know what to do with her – she wanted to simply express her emotions when the therapists wanted her to talk!
She also had a LOT of energy that she channeled into many things, sometimes healthy, sometimes not. In her passion for dance, Anna Maria got injured and so she found yoga and meditation at age 13. This saved her life because she was so hypersensitive. The yoga and meditation provided a safe channel for all of this extra energy.
It was the loophole that let her survive because otherwise “I was the craziest A-type alcoholic, nightclubbing, achievement oriented, president-of-all-the-councils, public speaking personality!!”
By 17 she was burnt out and a complete alcoholic. At this point she found her first mentor after calling out loud to the Universe for help and declaring that she couldn’t do it by herself anymore.
Through the emotional release work she was able to integrate her emotional body. Then she was led to spend time with tantric practitioners and wise women in jungles and wherever she could connect with them.
However she was really living a double life and outwardly on the path to “success” as determined by society. In this case it meant being accepted to study at Yale…
“However there was this voice which said ‘give me a few months for me to show you… before you go to Yale’”
So Anna Maria decided to go in to silence for a month. Her whole story about “success” crumbled and she got in touch with a peace and deep infinite knowing that she was previously trying to find through ticking boxes and creating a “perfect” life.
“By shedding and shedding all of these stories it finally became so obvious what was real.”
- Anna Maria at BaliSpirit Festival (Photo by Juliane Wothe)
However it wasn’t easy, even after this illuminating experience. It took Anna Maria a few years to integrate these experiences, and many ups and downs along the way.
“I face struggles differently now. I have tools to work with obstacles when they come. I know where to stop and what I need to process rather than pushing the mind to keep going and going.’
Something interesting also happened – “I noticed that as soon as I spoke a question out loud I could answer it.”
She started proclaiming and speaking out loud to the universe “I choose to be in alignment with my life purpose”. This was part of her morning practice for 3 years and for 10-30 minutes she would speak out loud what she chose in her life to activate the Law of Attraction.
Today Anna Maria teaches all around the world, sharing her experiences, her knowledge and her teachings. If you’re fortunate enough to see her, then make the time to listen, just like I did. And if you have ears to listen and a heart that’s open you might share the same smile as her. In the meantime, you can find her here: annamariamagdalena.com.
Written by : Russel Price